just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
