It's just like the Real World with babies
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
