I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
