Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize