Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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