these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
