So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
