If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
