I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
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