Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
my poor anus
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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