im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
