i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Randomize
