Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
