Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Bring me that man meat
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
