What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I just got carded by a ten year old.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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