I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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