wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
the day after is always just damage control
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
