They should really pass out barf bags in church
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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