If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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