Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Randomize
