Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
