What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
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