we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Randomize
