Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I just want to make out with him forever
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
