His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
