Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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