Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Randomize
