tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
