you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
