When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
