I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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