hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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