idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
