You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
