I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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