Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
