so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
