Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
