I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
It's rum buckets o'clock
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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