I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
