Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
