i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
