Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
