I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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