Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
high people should be assigned attendants
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
