Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I think i peed on brittanys purse
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
