apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
