I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize