Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
