I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
