I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I AM VODKA MAN
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
