Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Randomize
