I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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