My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize