My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
