Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
