About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
