If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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