My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
