I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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