i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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