I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
