i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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