listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
