9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
