Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
