He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize