I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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