you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
