how can u be prego again
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
