me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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